Past or Present: Where do you live?

Hello, friends!

How's your Wednesday going? I did a big thing yesterday and cut my hair off! It's super super short now. No non-awkward selfie pictures yet, but as soon as I get a good pic, I will be sure to share!

I fell off the bandwagon a bit recently, but I'm back today to real talk with my blogging bff Tamara, who is hosting a thought provoking link up for the next forever -- 30 topics in 30 weeks, inspired by these two articles about things to do for yourself and things to stop doing to yourself.

Today's Topic:

Past or present: where do you live?

This one doesn't quite speak to me. Except for when I've just gone through a big change -- graduation, a break up, a death, etc -- I'm pretty good at not living in the past. Or if I do something stupid, I typically dwell on it a bit. The real question for me right now...

Present or Future

I am about to graduate. (again.) I don't have a job yet and don't know in what city or state I will get a job. I don't know how long I'll keep working where I'm working -- technically I have till the beginning of August, but I may leave before then if I get a job. So I'm spending a lot of time applying to jobs, worrying thinking about the future, and planning all of my tomorrows.

Also, I have an awesome trip coming up, and one of my bffffffs is getting married in November and I get to be her Maid of Honor. So I'm also really looking forward to both of those things and spending a lot of mental/thinking time there, too.

I know that when I move to the next thing, whatever that may be, it will be hard. Even if I love it, it will be a challenge. (Or at least, it better be. How else am I supposed to learn?) And I know that I'll look back at this position and remember how confident I was in my abilities. Remember how much I love living in this house with Pat. Remember my classmates and the security of being one of a cohort all learning together. So I should enjoy it while I'm here.

The real battle is to stay here.

In my last capstone class, with all of my cohort meeting for the last time before we graduate, our professors asked us each to give our classmates some advice for going forward. One of my classmates said,

"Be where you are, when you are, where you are."

So I'm going to try to do just that.

Where do you "live" -- Past, Present or Future?

Facing your problems

Hey friends!

Today is the second week of the 30 Topics link up! If you missed it last week...

My blogging bff Tamara is hosting a thought provoking link up for the next forever -- 30 topics in 30 weeks, inspired by these two articles about things to do for yourself and things to stop doing to yourself. Because I know everything Tam does is awesome, I decided to participate.

And today's topic is based on the first two pieces of advice:

Stop running from your problems and start facing your problems head on.

I tend to put off some of the difficult things.

Sometimes, I don't think I can help it. Anxiety is a beast, and sometimes I don't have it in me to do things. So I procrastinate and push stuff off another day another day a n o t h e r d a y.

But mostly, I find that when I do finally do that thing I don't want to do, there is relief. There is closure. There is the feeling that even if I didn't do the thing perfectly, or even to the best of my ability, the thing is done and it's not a rain cloud over my head anymore.

Sometimes, I just have to remind myself that I'm doing the best with what I have and giving what I have to give.


OTHER TIMES. Other times I wish I could get my problems over with. Like this whole finding-a-job thing. Wouldn't it be great if I could find a dream job and have it already lined up, I don't know, like yesterday? So that is one problem I would LOVE to face head on. But it's filling a water bottle from a  from a leaky faucet with a slow drip and I'm getting there with each little drop. Someday. Someday. Someday.


I think life would maybe be easier if I could face everything head on. Get it done now. But as a human who requires a lot of time to think and to process, I am not sure I would be happy in that world, a world where I don't take the time to consider my solution and act on it before coming up with alternatives.

Are you a slow processor? Do you face your problems head on?

Who do you spend your time with?

Hello, friends!

How's your Wednesday going? I'm happy to be halfway through the week that Pat comes home! He's my favorite human to spend time with :)

Which is a GREAT transition to today's post. My blogging bff Tamara is hosting a thought provoking link up for the next forever -- 30 topics in 30 weeks, inspired by these two articles about things to do for yourself and things to stop doing to yourself. Because I know everything Tam does is awesome, I decided to participate.

And today's topic is based on the first two pieces of advice:

Stop spending time with the wrong people and start spending time with the right people.

This topic is actually quite timely for me, as I am trying to sort through some friend feelings right now. And feelings are the worst.

Over the years, I've had a few friendships that aren't so great for a little while. One of us does something to hurt the other's feelings, or one of us drops off the face of the earth for a long time. Sometimes I'm the bad guy in these scenarios, and sometimes I'm not. But, mostly, we've always gone back. There has almost always been a final push to say, hey, you're really important to me, and I want you in my life. And then we've rebuilt a healthier relationship.

So currently, I'm struggling with a friend. And it has been probably about two years of not-great friendship. But recently I took some steps to repair it. (based on the logic that someday, I'm going to get married, and I always pictured this person at my wedding. maybe dramatic, but it pushed me to pick up the phone.)

Already, though, I'm feeling anxious about this relationship. You know that cheesy saying, don't make someone a priority when you're only an option to them? I have always kind of rolled my eyes at that one, but it's pertinent to this situation, I think. I have felt like an option for so long. A back up plan. I don't want to just be an option anymore. Because that's not how I operate, and it hurts when someone treats me like that.

So how do you know when to cut the cord? When to wash your hands of someone and move on?

The inspiration article says, "Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth."

I hate the idea of giving up on someone. I love people, and I still love this friend. But trying to force a relationship when it makes me feel crappy and anxious? I don't want that either.

What do you do when both the relationship and the idea of giving up make you feel bad?


I don't really know where I'm going with this. This whole post is probably vague and obnoxious. But I guess I'm curious --

Have you all ever had a friend who made your heart hurt, but you couldn't let them go, either? What did you do?