They've been floating around my brain forever. Ok, since freshman year of college when I first heard about them.
They were created/discovered/explained by a marriage counselor named Gary Chapman. The basic idea is that all people express love--in all relationships, not just romantic ones--in one of five ways:
Words of affirmation
Acts of Service
(think about your dad checking the oil on your car)
So I've known about these for a super long time, but I never tested or really experienced the theory.
Pat and I do NOT speak the same love language.
I am pretty definitely Words of affirmation. When someone compliments me, I can glow and cheer up thinking about it 3 months later. Likewise, insults stick with me foreeeeverrrrr. I leave lots of notes for Pat and constantly am using words to express my feelings.
Pat... He's not so big on the communication.
When we first started dating, our mismatched languages bugged me. I felt like I never knew what he was thinking and worried that I was secretly annoying him but he'd never tell me and felt very unsure of where we stood.
I utterly failed to pick up on the ways he was showing me that he liked me.
See, Pat's language is Physical touch.
Alright, friends. Get your minds out of the gutter.
Pat shows me he cares about me aaaaaaaalllll the time, but not in the ways I was used to.
When we play games (he on his Xbox (Playstation? idk...), me on his iPhone) he stops between games to poke me or put his hand on my leg.
When something exciting happens, he'll grab my arm while he asks if I saw it.
Every time we drive anywhere, his hand is always on my leg.
But I was missing all these cues for a long long longlong time. I just thought that's the way couples were. That he was doing what any boyfriend would do.
It eventually hit me that Physical touch is Pat's language. Duh.
Have you guys ever heard of the love languages? Do you think you fit any of the categories?